Tag Archives: PEP TALK!

gonna do it….gonna do it….!!

Nope, haven’t been here posting my food yet.  I did get half a day into Spark People, which is where I need to get it first so I can keep track of everything.  I’m away for a two day training conference for my job, in a hotel by myself.  That means I am going to have some much needed re-focusing and re-centering time. Time to make a plan, write it down, and make it workable so I can stick to it.  That’s what I’ll be doing for the next two days while I’m not in the training.  You’ll hear from me again soon!

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Full Speed Ahead!!

Well, I’m a bit late on my 10 month update.  Who wants to update no change on the scale?  This was my “reality” month.  This is when the rubber meets the road.  I much prefer the floating honeymoon of the prior 9 months, but ignoring where I am isn’t going to get me where I want to be!  There are many viable “reasons” for the scale not moving this month, which I will share, but I know deep down I’ve simply been lazy about working the program like I should.  Barely going to the gym, not working out at home, not keeping track of protein (my protein levels are great in my blood work, but still), not drinking enough good liquids (i.e. something OTHER than coffeecoffeecoffee), getting in my veggies and getting OUT the carbs. Those darn carbs.  I don’t dump at all, and I love carbs.  Bad combination.  Basically I’ve been floating along for a month or two, instead of directing the path like I used to.  I’m determining today to set my goals, write a plan, and work it.  The thought of staying fat for the rest of my life is enough to make me so angry! I’ve worked so hard to get this far, too hard to quit! I think I’ve come up against an old “mental battle” that constantly says “it’s not gonna work!”, you know, the one we ALL deal with.  At least those of us who’ve been on diet after diet with no success or short lived success.

I’m realizing that I’ve been given this HUGE, amazing boost through WLS, but now it’s time to work through the mental part of it.  It’s been easily ignored for the past 10 months, because I was just zooming along thanks to surgery.  It won’t be ignored anymore.  Now it’s time to see how all of this success, and new habits, have changed me mentally.  I feel like I’m standing facing a line in the sand.  Cross it and truly become who I’ve been building for the past 10 months, or stand here staring at it, giving life to the lie that “it’s not gonna happen”.  And a “rah rah” pep talk from myself isn’t going to do it either.  Only action.  DOING.  And doing it again.  And doing some more.  And doing what’s right.  And doing it for the right reasons….because it’s who I am, it’s what I want, and I’m completely capable!

With that said…it’s time to pull out all of the “extras” that are in my arsenal bag that I’ve not really needed to utilize before now.  I’m going to start tracking my food and drinks again, but this time post them here too.  Accountability here I come.  Even if no one pays attention lol! I will post my work outs too.  And create a home workout plan for the days I don’t make it to the gym.  That was never an issue before, and now it is, so I will make a plan.  I don’t like being a lazy “non-working out” person, and I never want to go back to that!  My butt conforms all too well to that role!!

So, this month, still 190.  It actually bounced back and forth + or – 3 pounds more than a few times.  I had to have 3 weekly iron infusions this past month to get my iron stores back up to normal (they were low before surgery), and with every 4 hour iv infusion, I packed on some water weight and then lost it within a few days.  Now that my iron levels are back up, and I’m not feeling sluggish and tired, time to kick it in gear.  190 is a nice number compared to the 276 I started out at, but it’s not where I belong.  It’s not where I’m stopping.  It’s not where I’m settling.  I’m not done yet! I’m not satisfied! I have more than “this” in me!  I’m not a “half way” person, and it’s time to prove it!

I have more to share, but this blog is already forever long, so I’ll wait.  Since I’m gonna start posting my food and workouts everyday, I’m sure I’ll have plenty of opportunity to share!

I’m making a 3 month commitment to MYSELF.  To eat well, low carb, lots of fluids, and workout at least 4 days a week…and BLOG it.  3 months.  I’m not sure what kind of weight loss goal to have for myself though.  After losing nothing for 2 months in a row, I’d be thrilled with a pound a week.  I’m just not sure if that’s shooting too low, or aiming too high at this point in time.  Not sure what this battle is going to look like to kick this in gear as far as a number goes.  Maybe I’ll surprise myself and lose even more than that.  But I think I’m going to shoot for that.  Cause something is better than nothing at this point in time.

Well, I’ll be seeing you all lots more often now! CHARGE>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>!!!!!!

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My personal kick in the rear!

Okay, maybe not what YOU need, but certainly what I need!  And thankfully, I’m doing it myself.  Time to get it back in gear.  I had a feeling once I got to “onederland” I’d relax just a little, and I did.  But after seeing July’s stats…I’m done with the relax thankyouverymuch!!  Only -5 pounds for July.  I suppose most people would be happy to lose anything, but seriously, my WLS age is creeping up there (8 months tomorrow!) and I know the “honeymoon” only lasts for so long.  Meaning  the “I can eat and do anything and still lose weight” time.  And I have a feeling I’ve hit my bodies tolerance of simply frolicking along.

While it’s great to make changes, it’s also great to figure out what I changed in the first place (why I slacked) so that it doesn’t happen again.  One word. BusyLazy.  Yup.  That’s it right there.  I started working this summer, and when I first started I was SO dang tired from it, that I made it a point to not go to the gym the same day that I had to work, so I wouldn’t be so exhausted.  Well, after a week or two, it wasn’t THAT hard anymore, and I could have picked the gym back up….but did I?  No.  Rode my bike pretty faithfully for awhile, and then when it broke, I just did…..NOTHING.  NOT GOOD!!  I was still leaning on the excuse “welllll, I really do a lot of physical work at my jobbbbbb” (yes, that’s my whiny voice).  And yes, it is physical work, lots of cleaning and stocking, etc, but that excuse is just that, an excuse after the first two weeks.  And I’m calling it what it is!

Another dumb choice….working at a bakery and finding out that I really don’t dump on sugar AT ALL.  Ugh! But it’s okay now.  I realized last week that I’m just gonna have to put on my big girl panties and suck it up and use my very own will power and say NO!  To MYSELF!  It has been so easy to tell myself that I eat so very little that one donut a day when I work really isn’t going to add up.  And it really didn’t…until I wasn’t working out anymore.  Donut+no work out=feeling like a blob.  And I’ve had enough of feeling like a blob in my life!!  That is NOT why I got my insides rearranged darn it!

So yesterday I decided I’m not bringing anymore donuts home at the end of the day.  Yes, leftovers were free, much to my dismay.  I mean really, does the proverbial “little devil on the shoulder” get more accommodating than THAT?!  And I didn’t bring any home.  Yay me!  I did eat half of one at work though.  But I’m not gonna beat myself up about it.  Just gonna keep making changes.  I also am tracking my food and water on sparkpeople again.  I had let that go too.  Cause really, who wants to type in donuts everyday?!  Well, I am doing it, no matter what gets typed in.  Because I will NEVER BE SATISFIED WITH GOING HALF WAY!! EVER!!  Losing 82 pounds is a great accomplishment, but I’M NOT DONE YET!!  Whew.  There.  I feel better already.

Thankfully, the bakery job is only a summer job, so just a few more weeks to go. Even more thankfully, I am living according to CHOICE, not CIRCUMSTANCE. I’m not waiting for a job to end to make the right choice, I’m making the right choice because it’s what I WANT! Kicking myself in the butt!!

What about you?  How has summer been for you?

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