Tag Archives: wls

Who I am!

Amazing, lean, healthy, energetic, capable, successful, motivated, caring, nurturing, nourishing. I am these things. And I am no longer going to lose these things to being “busy”. I WILL BE who I am to ME and not just to everyone else!! I’m choosing to give myself the gift of being authentically me to me.
There have been so many changes in my life this year, and my health/weight was able to float along for awhile during the changes, but if I don’t start being faithful to who I truly am….to myself….I’m not going to be happy with the results at all.
I AM going to get these last 50 pounds off! I am so able! I have been given such a gift with this surgery! With all of the mind-set changes that came with it! With the enormous boost of a 90 pound loss that I literally worked my tail off for!
Time to get out of neutral and move forward once again, before I end up going backwards. Yes, life is busy, and there have been changes….a new house, a new job, a different life than being a stay at home mom, all of my kids now in school, BUT…..I’m not putting myself once again at the bottom of a self-destructive list of caring for everyone else but me. Nope. Back up to the top with me. I can’t truly love anyone well unless I love me well. I will love my neighbor/husband/family/church/friends as myself…..so MYSELF better get some pretty good nourishing!!
This list I made…God reminded me that THIS IS WHO I AM, not WHAT I DO. So I will be faithful to me, faithful to God, and be who I am!! Details to come…. 🙂 P.S….just had my 2 year anniversary of Gastric Bypass!!

2 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

time to blow the dust off…

Yeah, it’s been a long time since I’ve been here. And a long time since I’ve worked out. Yup, we’ll just cut right to the point. That’s why I’m here! I’ve been living life, enjoying life, building life, and slacking. I could call it relaxing, but it’s just plain slacking.
Had my 18 month check up a couple of months ago. Didn’t gain anything over the past 6 months. That was great news since my doc said that’s when it usually happens. I probably shouldn’t have patted myself on the back quite so heartily though, honestly. Yes, I didn’t gain, but I didn’t lose either. And I really could have. Because while I didn’t gain, it did relocate, that’s for darn sure, just ask my back side! I haven’t really worked out in months. Yes, months. I didn’t renew my gym membership….serious mistake there! And I’ve just been plain lazy. The crazy thing is, it’s almost been a comfort to me that I still have more “tools” to pull out of the tool box and work this weight loss to the max. It comforted me to know I wasn’t at my “last resort” like I was before surgery, and frustrated at having tried everything under the sun. Perhaps that’s a control issue. Um, yes.
So, okay, I’ve established that the ability to lose weight is firmly (or flabbily) in my control. So, now it’s time to USE that control, or ability, and get to where I actually want to be. I’ve actually been quite content where I’ve been. I’ve lost 85 pounds, and was feeling in very good shape, and pleased with my progress. And I’ve enjoyed that “peace with my body” for the first time in my life….for a good 6 months at least. But suddenly I’m no longer at peace with my body. Suddenly I’m noticing a little flab here, a bit softer there, a little too much mush here. And I can’t stand it. Not just because of how it looks, but because of how it makes me feel. Sloppy. Weak. Flabby. Sad. I feel better when I’m working out, eating healthy, and taking the best care of myself.
So, I’ve established that I can go without working out, and eat cookies and ice cream every day in small amounts, and drink too much coffee….and I won’t blow up to 300 pounds. Experiment over. Why I had to find that out…I’m not sure and the whole concept scares me. I’m very aware that if I didn’t have an altered stomach inside of me for the past 3 months that I would have ended up looking like an elephant. Because I.STILL.LOVE.SUGAR. And I’m not very sensitive to it. I’ve learned to “balance” and avoid the sugar coma feeling, and I certainly don’t dump from it.
So, now it’s just me and my desire. And suddenly, thankfully, my desire to be my best just overrode my desire to eat oreo cookies every darn day of my life.
I’ve been through some serious season changes. Started working out of the home for the first time in years, all of my kids are finally in school with the youngest now in Kindergarten, we bought our “forever” home, and I’m back in the ministry at our church. That’s a lot of change. Previous to all of that, I dedicated a good solid year completely to my health. Now it’s time to add that back in.
I can’t fit the gym membership back into the budget until January, so the treadmill is back in the living room, the weights are ready to go, and I’m digging out my water bottle.
And blowing the dust off of my blog.
I think I just wanted to live a “normal” life for awhile, and not have WLS be the forefront of all of my thoughts and time anymore. But I’m beginning to realize that while my weight loss surgery doesn’t have to be eternally in the forefront of my mind, my health does. Taking care of me proactively does. Because otherwise I go looking for normal in a bag of Oreo cookies again. So yeah, it has taken me these past 9 months to realize that my “normal”, or my compass in life when it comes to health, is still a bit off. It’s going to take a little more focus and effort on my part to continue the resetting of my default when it comes to healthy. So, here I go.  It’s a new day!

4 Comments

Filed under Fitness, Healthy Eating, life, Uncategorized, Weight Loss Surgery

Full Speed Ahead!!

Well, I’m a bit late on my 10 month update.  Who wants to update no change on the scale?  This was my “reality” month.  This is when the rubber meets the road.  I much prefer the floating honeymoon of the prior 9 months, but ignoring where I am isn’t going to get me where I want to be!  There are many viable “reasons” for the scale not moving this month, which I will share, but I know deep down I’ve simply been lazy about working the program like I should.  Barely going to the gym, not working out at home, not keeping track of protein (my protein levels are great in my blood work, but still), not drinking enough good liquids (i.e. something OTHER than coffeecoffeecoffee), getting in my veggies and getting OUT the carbs. Those darn carbs.  I don’t dump at all, and I love carbs.  Bad combination.  Basically I’ve been floating along for a month or two, instead of directing the path like I used to.  I’m determining today to set my goals, write a plan, and work it.  The thought of staying fat for the rest of my life is enough to make me so angry! I’ve worked so hard to get this far, too hard to quit! I think I’ve come up against an old “mental battle” that constantly says “it’s not gonna work!”, you know, the one we ALL deal with.  At least those of us who’ve been on diet after diet with no success or short lived success.

I’m realizing that I’ve been given this HUGE, amazing boost through WLS, but now it’s time to work through the mental part of it.  It’s been easily ignored for the past 10 months, because I was just zooming along thanks to surgery.  It won’t be ignored anymore.  Now it’s time to see how all of this success, and new habits, have changed me mentally.  I feel like I’m standing facing a line in the sand.  Cross it and truly become who I’ve been building for the past 10 months, or stand here staring at it, giving life to the lie that “it’s not gonna happen”.  And a “rah rah” pep talk from myself isn’t going to do it either.  Only action.  DOING.  And doing it again.  And doing some more.  And doing what’s right.  And doing it for the right reasons….because it’s who I am, it’s what I want, and I’m completely capable!

With that said…it’s time to pull out all of the “extras” that are in my arsenal bag that I’ve not really needed to utilize before now.  I’m going to start tracking my food and drinks again, but this time post them here too.  Accountability here I come.  Even if no one pays attention lol! I will post my work outs too.  And create a home workout plan for the days I don’t make it to the gym.  That was never an issue before, and now it is, so I will make a plan.  I don’t like being a lazy “non-working out” person, and I never want to go back to that!  My butt conforms all too well to that role!!

So, this month, still 190.  It actually bounced back and forth + or – 3 pounds more than a few times.  I had to have 3 weekly iron infusions this past month to get my iron stores back up to normal (they were low before surgery), and with every 4 hour iv infusion, I packed on some water weight and then lost it within a few days.  Now that my iron levels are back up, and I’m not feeling sluggish and tired, time to kick it in gear.  190 is a nice number compared to the 276 I started out at, but it’s not where I belong.  It’s not where I’m stopping.  It’s not where I’m settling.  I’m not done yet! I’m not satisfied! I have more than “this” in me!  I’m not a “half way” person, and it’s time to prove it!

I have more to share, but this blog is already forever long, so I’ll wait.  Since I’m gonna start posting my food and workouts everyday, I’m sure I’ll have plenty of opportunity to share!

I’m making a 3 month commitment to MYSELF.  To eat well, low carb, lots of fluids, and workout at least 4 days a week…and BLOG it.  3 months.  I’m not sure what kind of weight loss goal to have for myself though.  After losing nothing for 2 months in a row, I’d be thrilled with a pound a week.  I’m just not sure if that’s shooting too low, or aiming too high at this point in time.  Not sure what this battle is going to look like to kick this in gear as far as a number goes.  Maybe I’ll surprise myself and lose even more than that.  But I think I’m going to shoot for that.  Cause something is better than nothing at this point in time.

Well, I’ll be seeing you all lots more often now! CHARGE>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>!!!!!!

5 Comments

Filed under Fitness, Healthy Eating, life, Weight Loss Surgery

9 month update and other stuff

Ah! Fall is in the air! Though I must admit, being 86 pounds less this fall, my toes are cold! My tan is quickly fading and I miss 85 degrees something awful! Since there’s nothing I can do about any of that, except put on some nice warm socks, I figured I’d better make the best of it 🙂

So my kitchen table is full of tomatoes waiting to be canned as spaghetti sauce, apples waiting to be made into apple sauce and also frozen for baking and smoothies, cukes waiting to be turned into pickles and pears waiting to become sauce too.  Oh yeah, lots of bananas to freeze and use later for banana bread or muffins.  And wouldn’t you know it, as soon as I load up on all this stuff and get ready to go to work, I get sick! Blah! Nasty cough, stuffy head, hide under the blankets in bed-sick! So, it’s all sitting there still waiting.  Hopefully it will all keep until tomorrow or Monday.

A friend told me to mix equal parts lemon juice, honey and whiskey and take a couple of tablespoons of it to knock this nasty cold out and feel better.  I tried it, and gosh did I sleep good! Cleared up most of the gunk in my chest and head! I’m so glad because Nyquil only worked for about an hour!  Drinking lots of tea, taking my vitamins plus d3 and zinc, and lots of soup to eat.  Should be back to normal before too long.

Well, it’s been a crazy month, that’s for sure.  As far as weight loss, nada.  I was working two jobs, one at a bakery where it was just way too easy to eat a cookie at day, or a donut, or any other lovely treat.  And I did.  And with working all the time, do you think I went to the gym?  No.  Therefore, not a single pound.  Thankfully I didn’t gain, but still….glad that month is over.  The two jobs are over also. The Bakery was just a summer job and has ended. The restaurant laid me off (on my birthday no less!!) because they are so slow.  Now I just need to get back on my feet and off and running to the gym!  Monday for sure!  New job doesn’t start until October 4th, so I have time to get my good habits back into practice.  It’s so easy to just not keep track of what and how much you eat when you get busy with life.  Not that I’m eating too much, probably the exact opposite…not enough! Never thought I’d have THAT problem!! I’ve even slacked off on the protein shakes….and am noticing a bit more hair in the shower than I like because of it.  NOT going that route again!! That was all the incentive I needed!  I have, however, been very faithful to take all of my vitamins.  I feel like I’m going to simply fall over asleep if I don’t, so that’s never even a temptation.

My new experience for the month, as a “skinnier” person (it SO bugs me when people call me “skinny” right now, cause I am not yet!  I’m just skinnier than I was! lol!) was a family camping trip to the Upper Peninsula in Michigan.  Went camping at the Lower Tahquamenon Falls, and it was a lot of fun.  Though it was VERY cold…45 degrees!! Good thing we had heaters in the tent!  It was fun, and beautiful, and hiking the trails to the falls was great! I’ve wanted to go for my birthday for years, and this year I finally did it!

I did, however, learn that I am much too diva for camping in a tent lol!  Next year it will be a cabin, or we’ll save up for a camper, but this lady doesn’t care much for tents.  Even with a wonderful double high air mattress, which was quite comfortable…tents are just so much work, and get full of so much dirt! And sleeping in ONE room with stinky  10 and 12 year old boys of mine?  😛  But we did have fun 🙂

4 Comments

Filed under cooking, life, Weight Loss Surgery

My personal kick in the rear!

Okay, maybe not what YOU need, but certainly what I need!  And thankfully, I’m doing it myself.  Time to get it back in gear.  I had a feeling once I got to “onederland” I’d relax just a little, and I did.  But after seeing July’s stats…I’m done with the relax thankyouverymuch!!  Only -5 pounds for July.  I suppose most people would be happy to lose anything, but seriously, my WLS age is creeping up there (8 months tomorrow!) and I know the “honeymoon” only lasts for so long.  Meaning  the “I can eat and do anything and still lose weight” time.  And I have a feeling I’ve hit my bodies tolerance of simply frolicking along.

While it’s great to make changes, it’s also great to figure out what I changed in the first place (why I slacked) so that it doesn’t happen again.  One word. BusyLazy.  Yup.  That’s it right there.  I started working this summer, and when I first started I was SO dang tired from it, that I made it a point to not go to the gym the same day that I had to work, so I wouldn’t be so exhausted.  Well, after a week or two, it wasn’t THAT hard anymore, and I could have picked the gym back up….but did I?  No.  Rode my bike pretty faithfully for awhile, and then when it broke, I just did…..NOTHING.  NOT GOOD!!  I was still leaning on the excuse “welllll, I really do a lot of physical work at my jobbbbbb” (yes, that’s my whiny voice).  And yes, it is physical work, lots of cleaning and stocking, etc, but that excuse is just that, an excuse after the first two weeks.  And I’m calling it what it is!

Another dumb choice….working at a bakery and finding out that I really don’t dump on sugar AT ALL.  Ugh! But it’s okay now.  I realized last week that I’m just gonna have to put on my big girl panties and suck it up and use my very own will power and say NO!  To MYSELF!  It has been so easy to tell myself that I eat so very little that one donut a day when I work really isn’t going to add up.  And it really didn’t…until I wasn’t working out anymore.  Donut+no work out=feeling like a blob.  And I’ve had enough of feeling like a blob in my life!!  That is NOT why I got my insides rearranged darn it!

So yesterday I decided I’m not bringing anymore donuts home at the end of the day.  Yes, leftovers were free, much to my dismay.  I mean really, does the proverbial “little devil on the shoulder” get more accommodating than THAT?!  And I didn’t bring any home.  Yay me!  I did eat half of one at work though.  But I’m not gonna beat myself up about it.  Just gonna keep making changes.  I also am tracking my food and water on sparkpeople again.  I had let that go too.  Cause really, who wants to type in donuts everyday?!  Well, I am doing it, no matter what gets typed in.  Because I will NEVER BE SATISFIED WITH GOING HALF WAY!! EVER!!  Losing 82 pounds is a great accomplishment, but I’M NOT DONE YET!!  Whew.  There.  I feel better already.

Thankfully, the bakery job is only a summer job, so just a few more weeks to go. Even more thankfully, I am living according to CHOICE, not CIRCUMSTANCE. I’m not waiting for a job to end to make the right choice, I’m making the right choice because it’s what I WANT! Kicking myself in the butt!!

What about you?  How has summer been for you?

6 Comments

Filed under Fitness, Healthy Eating, life, Weight Loss Surgery